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Jesus, I missed all my freaking classes again I’m really screwing the pooch now I don’t even know how many absences that is but If I can’t count them on one hand, don’t bother. I just got my midterm grades and doing pretty mediocre for the most part, I got a C+ in Algebra Concepts, and F in Chemistry, and F in Web programming I even though my Professor told me not to worry about it and God knows what in Psychology cause my teacher hasn’t grading the only test we ever took that class.
Ok something has to give obviously my behavior has to change because I’m producing the same results as last year….this is not what I had in mind when came back, maybe it’s the lack of studing, endless hours of video games, or spending ridiculous amount of time with friends why I’m in this predicament well you what?
I gotta start over with what I got and make something out of nothing, and that starts with my horrible sleep patterns, 
lack of time management (To begin studying at 2 0′clock in the morning might not be the best time….) and Study environments like my room are the reason I get close to nothing done…But where do I start I have a project due 2 days from now and I haven’t started oh yeah coffee and red bull for the win? NO MORE MESSED UP SLEEP PATTERNS FOR ME……
I’m gonna start watching every second of every minute of every hour of the day and see exactly what I’m doing at the that time to put and end to this ridiculous shenanigans I’ve been doing for like most of my educational career. Google Calendar will be downloaded cause I barely even use microsoft outlook. And that should help in dividends when managing time, when work needs to done keep social interactions to a minimum and most important of ALL STAY FOCUSED!!!!
Henry Ford said this quote that I really like I think it was something like
“The first requisite for success is to focus both mental and physical energies into a task without growing weary”
Such a great quote because I FOR THE LIFE OF ME CANNOT FOCUSED WITH ALL MY mental and physical energies on one specific tasks like homework, without getting weary, tired, bored or restless it’s a really bad quality because it usually results in me taking lots for breaks to clear my head. So I end up clearing my head with two hours of video games and not finishing the assignment.
“Most Men Misfortune, is the result of Misused Time” – I forgot….lol
I’m one of those Men……but I’m keep trying learn from my mistakes this time and get this project done and do my thing cause the only person who can stop me is me.
Well see what happens so I will be careful to take care of the seconds and minutes in the day and the hours will take care of themselves right?
right? times a-wasting……..
Where to begin…..last post was 2 months ago, creating this blog for the sole purpose of tracking my progress of my transformation of an ambitions young guy to a successful man. Well….it has been almost 2 months so my absence speaks for it self, I still have severe commitment issues to work on, but besides that let me recap what the happen this past summer… I was lucky enough to find a job at the regal movie theather, after countless days of aimlessly filling in applications, constant arguments between my mother regarding my incompetence (I was lazy, like sloth lazy it was pretty bad….) and being 19 yrs old, understanding and accepting where I currently was really hard; I messed up two years of college and have two years left, haven’t had a serious relationship in a loooooong time…. and ultimately missing lots of opportunities for success.
This summer had it’s hardships, but around mid-July, I actually was hired to work concession at the movie theater. I was extremely grateful at the time cause I was at the point where desperate was an understatement for a job, I filled in applications at Mcdonalds, Nursing Homes, and every other low-end wage job you could expect. I was fortunate because my friend’s big brother worked there previously and recommended me and his brother to work.
I took it and ran with it, I saw it as a new beginning to get my life back in order, other than the chaos of randomness of sleep, eat, watch TV, fill in application online repeat steps 1,2 and 3 95% of the time, which my life revolved around sadly. Being a quick learner I adjusted instantly and worked cashier at the concession area, where I worked with nothing but other female co-workers with an occasional other dude working in concession with me. I slowly meshed myself into the patchwork of the social habitat of my fellow co-workers but there was bit of disconnection between me and them, or so at least I believed. Since I went to school upstate and most of my co-workers went to school in Staten Island where everybody lived, everybody knew what everybody was doing, they were closely networked…. I had no clue.
This summer I tried to find a new girlfriend but, I couldn’t find that special chemistry with any of the females at my job, the girls at my job had completely different mindsets then I did: work, go party, have sex. I think I pretty much covered the basics, and not there is anything wrong with that, it just not what I’m looking for right now. All co-workers at my job younger or older than me had higher or lower positions than me all ultimately taught me a very important lesson in life, before I worked at the movie theater and I still have a little problem with this today, is I’m kinda shy person and if I don’t know a person I’m generally a quiet person until I warm up to a specific person. This trait really hinders me from developing significant relationships with people because of the time I waste warming up to people.
But that changed, because everybody at work was really outgoing which allow me to open up and let down my secure barriers around people because I’m really self-conscious person, but once I open up, I’m probably one the funniest people you ever meet. My job taught me not to care what other people think, and to just do what been holding back for years…..
JUST BEING ME
Now I’m back at school and my outlook on life has different perspectives: I tired of holding back I’m a junior now! I feel like I just realized my potential has a person but it’s never to late to embrace it! So has soon as I made it back to school I applied for a job working at the Central Dining Hall, applied at the campus store, and applied to be campus Office Manager for my resident hall… I trying to get my feet wet get some experience under my belt and develop leadership skills in the process. I much more outgoing now and I’m constantly trying to make new friends. I already good friends with the freshmen, RA’s and Resident Director as well… which will help in dividends when I apply for the office manager position I pray I receive that job!
Year 3 of college is going to be just amazing! I feel it in my gut, my friends feel it in their gut, this year I will try my best to embrace all opportunities to be successful on all aspects of my life! stay tuned peace….
Alright, I’m back on my high horse, thanks to Will smith’s brilliant, and touching performance in the movie “Seven pounds”. Ok, I’m not acting like I’m a tough guy or anything, but I usually don’t cry when I watch movies. (That’s not true you teared up when Will smith was holding his son in the bathroom in the Movie “The Pursuit of happiness”…).
Ok maybe I’m a softie, but this movie had me choked up, cause the fate of Will Smith’s character is inevitable, and while you watch the movie, playing detective trying to unravel the true motives of his character you end up revealing just how great and awe-inspiring the kindness and unselfishness that Will Smith’s character exhibited which is extremely rare and is seen in very few people. All I gotta say is that it inspired me to take a look at myself as a person, and you should watch it as well…if you watch it already, WATCH IT AGAIN! lol….
Magic got their ass handed to them by the Lakers in a 4-1 finish in the NBA finals, so I’m not even going to dwell on that subject, cause quite frankly, it hurts so back what’s happening:
I don’t really know what kick me back into high gear but I’m really gettin my life routine back together, I started exercising again, I’m studying my web programming book again, and doing my part to help mom around house. It’s funny cause the other day I wrote a blog barely being able to get my lazy ass out of bed.
But now I’m focused, determined the ambition and drive is back, THE KID IS BACK! Yeah… it felt good to say that but I gotta be consistent if any of these words I write are gonna be concrete or hold any weight, cause saying it when you first doing it and following through are to completely different things.
Okay so the booty, raised a brow no? well….there’s been another area that I wanted to improve in and yeah you quess it relationships. But I think all this time I got wrong cause I know in my previous post I was talking about wanting a relationship and having a girlfriend and the whole nine yards.
But I figured, I’m only like 19 years old, so I should still enjoy myself while I’m still young ya dig? I feel like I missed out on SO MANY opportunities that I had with promiscuous females cause I was how would you say “happy go lucky guy” who didn’t partake in being promiscuous.
Now tell me, ain’t that some bullshit? I’m in my second year of college and barely did shit, cause I’m looking for the ONE, well as of right now….screw that I’m looking what options I got right now. And don’t get me wrong I’m not gonna be an asshole and go from one girl to another, i’m just enjoying myself until I find out who is wifey material….
That didn’t sound to much better did it………
Till next time kids, deuces…..
Yawn…..How the hell did I managed to sleep from 1 p.m to 6 p.m. in the middle of the day? Jesus, I need to be productive, I need I job fast. It’s funny you know because when I was a young lad, I would swear up and down that I didn’t need to sleep and believed if I was by some miracle I did fail asleep I was gonna miss something. I would sleep for like 2 hours and wake up just in time for saturday morning cartoons, as far I was was concerned “sleeping was for the weak”.
But man has time changed, now that my sleep pattern is all messed up, when I wake up I’m still tired, and I have to deal with the consequences of self-pity because I basically slept through the entire day. It sucks, because I lose all my ambition and drive, because when you wake up 6 o’clock in the evening seriously what the hell can you do?
Well….sometime I gotta get head above water or in this case out of the pillow, if I want make a change for the better.
It’s been 1 day since I last posted, and while I take time to figure out what is the source of my kyptonite, I received a call from my friend who hacked his Xbox 360 by himself, and needed help testing the setup of a new server he put up. I was admittely shocked and dissapointed in myself when he called because I had no clue how to hack an Xbox 360 or even setup a server and Me and friend has been in school for the same amount of years.
Damn…..I suck.
Yesterday Me and my friend went to Starbucks, but not before I got to see one of my best childhood friends go off to his High School Prom. I was so proud to see him in his fresh suit, all grown up and mature. It’s moments like that when you see how far you friends have grown, inevitably also noticing how old you are simultaneously. Watching him go off to his Prom and take pictures, cause me to reminiscence about my Prom and the chances I didn’t take. Don’t get me wrong I a lot of fun at my prom, an absolute blast, but I know I would have been more fun if I actually had a date…lol
My other friend who’s 22 was with me when we saw our childhood friend drive off in the limo with his date, and while Me and my friend’s big brother was happy to see our friend experience such an significant event in his life. My friend seem distant, he missed is prom and it seem to eat at him to see everything he missed.
Shortly after, me and friend traveled to Starbucks, you see my friend is a major caffeine head I mean an espresso junkie and he needs his daily fix, I just accompany him while he fulfills his addiction(yeah I don’t help at all lol…). While at Starbucks me friend tells me he regrets missing his Prom after seeing our childhood friend go off to his Prom.
While he elaborates on the subject, I drift off into selfish mode, and begin to scan the habitat, damn does Starbucks always has this many fine females? I’m about to become addicted to caffeine myself…lol, I drift back into the conversation and my boy is talking about his past relationship mistakes, me like clockwork, tell him about the mistakes I’ve make and how, we gotta get ourselves out there and start talking to some chicks.
But inevitably, me and friend are all talk and no action, so while we talk about what actions were going to take differently to successfully get with a chick, there’s all these fine honeys walking around Starbucks, begging to be talked to and guess what we did?
We finished our drinks, conversation and left…..as usual…..
bunch of pansys if you ask me…..lol
And I wonder why I don’t have a girlfriend….sheesh.
Plus Magic lost because dumbass Hedo Turkuglo (sry for misspelling his name but cut me some slack here) can’t make a free throw to save himself, and Dwight Howard all because you sent the playoff record for 9 blks in a playoff game doesn’t give you the right to miss clutch free throws when you ONLY UP BY 3. Because it gives Derek Fisher’s bald headed ass a reason to tie the game up and sent the game into overtime…..and if it’s one thing you don’t want to do it’s go to OT with Kobe Bryant.
Because the Black Mamba is a beast….
So I still lack a girlfriend, and my team is 3-1 in the NBA finals and I don’t have a car so I can’t even save money on car insurance my switching to Geico.
For some reason I got the sudden urge to ride my bike again so I will maybe I’ll start exercising seriously again, oh yeah if you like Kanye West check out that song Super Nova with Mr. Hudson (he’s awesome) and Clispe ft Pharrel called “I’m Good” it’s like my theme song right now….
till next time cheers-
Today began, with the show of promise, because by some divine intervention, one of my mom’s co-workers mentioned a job that her son could work at and told her to tell the employer that edison (i’m guessing the guy’s edison) sent me. When Ma informed me of this last night I simply forced a smile. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful that a job opportunity had come my way, it was just that all my other previous job attempts have been lackluster at best.
But I guess in this situation, the chips are on my side because at least I was referred so that is bound to increase my chances of success, so today I thought “You know what today is gonna be different, today holds new opportunities” so like clockwork, I plug my psp headphones in and start to inspire myself by listening to some Kanye Songs. I press shuffle on my psp and “Amazing” 808 drums beat life into my system I’m alive again, I’m amazing it’s amazing i’m the reason everybody fired up this evening, I’m exhausted, barely breathing, holding on to what I believe in no matter what you’ll never take that from me, my reign is as far as the eye can see it’s amazing…..
Getting into the car dressed up, and resume in hand, I didn’t know exactly what job I would be doing, but at this point I was so hype and ready it didn’t matter what the job was I was ready to present myself and make myself look good. Driving through Staten Island, me in the passenger seat, mom at the helm, I look into the clouds and ponder this new direction in life that I’m taking: no longer sitting around the house being unproductive in every shape and form. A glorious life of irregular sleep patterns, unhealthy amount of video game hours, and lack of exercise….every lazy teenager’s dream? Yeah…..kinda but TRUST ME after a while you start to grow up and not all it’s cracked up to be.
The car comes to a sudden halt and back in reality(yeah I tend to drift off…) and scan the surroundings of a dead end street, houses, and a NURSING HOME! Uhhhh…..well….I mean I did say I was down for anything but I really wasn’t expecting to see a NURSING HOME! Then I thought, well my mom has worked with the elderly almost all her life maybe God wanted me to follow in her footsteps, maybe I could learn a thing or two from the people that has lived almost 5 times longer than I have. Maybe if the job goes well…. I can gain invaluable wisdom from these people while making them feel young again, sry I know but a lot of optimistic movie shit goes on in my head of what I want to happen and reality.
So staying optimistic, I make my way to the front entrance, my mom at my side greets the elderly, this old woman holds the door open for me and my mother, extremely kind concerning her small frame. Entering the building I scan the habitat for secretary or receptionist and let me tell I don’t mean to be a jerk or anything but it was like ZOMBIE CENTRAL up in there, lots of lethargic, feeble, and blank expressions. But then I remember all these people like me was a teenager just like me, and one day inevitably I would be old, lethargic, and feeble just like them. So I kindly greeted the elderly as I made my way to the receptionist desk.
The receptionist glares it me as if I’m lost, but I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place so I tell her I’ve came to apply for a job and that I sent by edison, not a second after that sentence I pray I said those magic words that would at least guarantee an interview, well….. not exactly because the golden girls looking receptonist simply replied “Edison doesn’t do any of the hiring, but I can sent you application to administrative services”. I utter a sigh, has I hand over the resume with the application, damn another job opportunity foiled. My mom cheers my spirits my telling me at least you got the application in but I simply look back into the clouds.
Will Today Be That Day Of New Opportunity? Don’t get you hopes up…lol
